Long Time, No Blog

Let's just say the past week and a half has been challenging. I don't even know really where to begin, because I'm not entirely sure why things have been so challenging.

Nate has recovered completely from the ear tube placement. Just this morning his eyes were super gunky, so I'm wondering if we'll start to see his ears drain as well. He has his 18 month appointment on Monday, so I'll post his stats next week. In the last week, Nathan has been having trouble with sleeping...and I'm tired. Normally, we can put him in his crib, following looking at a few books and singing a few songs, and then we can leave. He falls asleep on his own. We worked so hard since about 6 months old to get to this point. However, he has never consistently slept through the night. A few nights ago, we put him down and he just wouldn't stop crying. He would stand up in his crib and scream. At this age, I have a big problem letting him "cry it out." It's just too hard to listen to. And then a few days later, he woke up at 4:00am and he was up for the day. And yesterday, he screamed and screamed when I tried to put him down for a nap. I met my breaking point yesterday and had to call my parents to come over to rescue me. I was crying, Ella was crying, Nathan was crying. I felt like I was losing it. Once they arrived, I crawled into bed and got under the covers. I ended up falling asleep and took a nap. I felt much better when I woke up. But I've really noticed that my patience is lacking and my fuse is short. I need to work on it. Badly.

I notice the short temper mostly with Ella. At three and a half, she is very independent, and extremely stubborn. She's sassy and doesn't listen to a word I say. She's started having night terrors again. She constantly tests me to see what she can get away with. It is so frustrating. I'm currently waiting on a book from the library called, "Love and Logic." A friend of mine is an instructor for the "Love and Logic" technique and I'm waiting to see when the next class is going to be offered. SIGN ME UP!

I love my kids so much, and it makes me feel so guilty when I yell or get frustrated. I fear I'm causing their negative behaviors, not helping it. I'm just so tired.

On to more positive things...my friend Christine gave birth to twins on April 7th. Twin A was 8 pounds and twin B was 6 pounds, 6 ounces. Can you believe it? They're huge! I'm going to visit in July and I can't wait to hold those little boys!

We had a nice Easter with my parents. It was so nice to be able to spend a holiday with them without having to travel 6 or more hours. They hid eggs for the kids and gave them nice Easter baskets. They love going over to "Gigi and Papa's" house. I do too!

Well, I'm hoping for a better week ahead. And hopefully a more positive blog post.